Plans & Goals 2020: Week 23 & 24 Review

Okay. So. In case you hadn’t noticed, I skipped doing last week’s post. And to be perfectly honest, I seriously considered skipping this week’s as well. The thing is, I’ve been in rather a depressive mood of late, and talking about all the things that I’m failing to accomplish really didn’t seem like the greatest of ideas. But then again, I thought, perhaps just spewing it all out will help me feel a bit better. Who knows. I suppose that it’s worth a try.

One big contributor to my mood has been the weather we’ve been getting of late. It’s been relatively warm, which is nice, but surrounding the brief moments of sun we’ve been mostly getting day after day of cloudy, grey misery, and that’s been draining me to no end. If you’ve never experienced seasonal affective disorder, that might sound totally idiotic, but believe me when I tell you that it can seriously affect your mental and emotional well-being if you suffer from it. Imagine it a bit like the sun is a drug, and you’re going through major withdrawal symptoms after having that drug ripped away from you. That might be a bit of an exaggeration (I would’t know, having never been addicted to any drugs), but it gives you an idea. The sun goes away for a few days in a row and I feel exhausted (regardless of how much sleep I get), depressed (regardless of what good may be going on in life), lethargic as all get out, and as moody as a starving animal who’s locked in a cage with a juicy steak sitting just out of reach and a human laughing at it from a safe distance.

Does that about cover it? Yeah, I think it does.

Plus, just to prove that nature hates me personally, I have seasonal allergies and they’ve been acting up something FIERCE. Which, if you know what having near constantly allergy attacks is like, you’ll know that it’s both depressing and exhausting. Also, one of the reactions I have is for my right eye (specifically, for some reason) go all fuzzy and red and swollen, which means I’ve been spending an inordinate amount of time just trying to exist with one eye closed.

Beyond that, there have definitely been many other things tweaking my mental well-being. Some of them will come up throughout this post, in the goals sections, and others I won’t mention at all because they’re personal. But just go ahead and assume that I feel very much as though life has been holding me down and repeatedly kicking me in the ass lately. As with all things, this too shall pass, but for the immediate time being…forgive me if I’m overly mopey and whiny and totally full of shit.


Goal #1: Be Healthier

In this, there is little doubt, that I am a complete and utter failure. Part of the issue definitely has to do with my mental and emotional state getting the better of me these days, but I also can’t deny that good ol’ fashioned laziness and lack of willpower has a lot to do with it as well. Every day lately is a constant cycle of convincing myself that I’m going to do better, doing better for a little while, failing miserably in a huge way, and then hating myself until I fall asleep. Sleep, repeat. Sleep, repeat. I just can’t seem to keep myself in the right head-space for a reasonable length of time all at once.

  • Eat better (and less) – The days have been basically going like this: get up, drink lots of water, maybe have something small like an apple or a granola bar, feel perfectly fine for a while, maybe have something small for lunch, feel fine for a while, have supper…and completely lose it. There’s something about the evening meal – regardless of what we eat – that makes all my willpower disintegrate at once, and all of a sudden I’m having dessert that I don’t need, snacking on random little things that I don’t need, having late-night treats that I don’t need, and overall just being an insatiable bitch who can’t keep her hands out of the cupboards. It’s like I start the day with reams of willpower…and it all just vanishes once the evening hits.

    And FYI, yes, I’ve tried eating multiple smaller meals throughout the day to try to keep myself more satiated…and it doesn’t help. My evening breakdowns seem to happen completely irregardless of what I do or don’t eat throughout the first part of the day. It’s infuriating, and is the main reason that I end up loathing myself by nighttime, and yet that loathing doesn’t seem to stop me from my mindless eating. I feel like I need to have all access to food under padlock, with a keeper who doles out exactly what I’m allowed to eat when I’m allowed to eat it. -_-
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  • Drink more water – Water consumption continues to not be an issue. I may have let it drift off a bit throughout week 23, but it was all good again by week 24. I drink tons of water. Enough that it should, theoretically, suppress my appetite a bit. And yet…*grumble grumble*
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  • Get more exercise – Exercise is a wonky topic at the moment. I did my P90X2 videos all through week 23, but they fell apart during week 24 when when having visitors to the house threw me all out of whack. In addition to that, I’ve been just having a hard time with P90X2 in general lately. I’ve been re-doing the first phase, since the second phase basically told me to go fuck myself, and I’ll admit that a few of the exercises have gotten easier, which is nice. But as an overall thing, I’ve been finding the videos harder to do. That might just be because my mental state has my physical one refusing to buck the hell up, but whatever the reason, I’ve often found myself halfway through a video just wanting to quit. The fact that I’ve been seeing zero physical effects of my effort doesn’t help.

    So I decided to try something different, and just started yesterday. I’m putting P90X on hold for the time being, and have started playing Just Dance 2020 with my daughter for my exercise instead. We play for at least an hour, and I let her pick all kinds of ridiculously hard songs. Plus, whereas I normally would just move my hands in the proper motions, since that’s all the game can actually detect, now I’m doing my damnedest to do ALL of the body motions, including jumping around like a lunatic when the song demands. The result is a pretty damn decent workout that’s a lot more fun than proper exercise videos. Not to mention I’m spending time with my daughter and getting HER active as well. Win-win. My HOPE is that if I keep doing this, and manage to get my eating habits under some kind of control, maybe I’ll actually start to lose a little weight and eventually I’ll be able to reintroduce P90X2 and have an easier time with it. I dunno. It’s a thought. Fingers crossed!
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  • Lose 2 lbs per month – FUCK my life, I really don’t want to talk about it, but I suppose it’s better if I do. Long story short, when I weighed myself yesterday morning I’d hit my heaviest weight ever, I number that I swore to myself I wasn’t going to cross: 181 lbs. (Keep in mind that I’m only 5’1″ tall, so that number is not fucking good.) The add-on to this is that while some parts of my body don’t seem terribly out of shape (my arms, for example, are fairly muscular), other parts are just plain unhealthy. I can feel my stomach jiggle when I walk. AND I FUCKING HATE IT.

    And that’s all I’m going to say about that, because if I go any further I’ll end up screaming and chucking my Chromebook out the window.
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Goal #2: Be an Author

I’ve mentioned this in a few posts now, but writing has been, for the most part, the thing holding my brain together lately. I enjoy it, I’ve been doing a lot of it, and for the first time in years I am actually on par toward pulling off a word count goal.

That said…there have been a couple of hiccups that have been making me twitch.

  • Write 500,000 words throughout the year – Word count is not one of the hiccups. My word count has been perfectly fantastic. I believe I am currently somewhere in the avenue of 48% complete of my half-a-mill goal, which is fan-fucking-tastic.

    On week 23 my Pacemaker.press wanted me to write 8763 words, and I surpassed that with 10,574 words. On week 24 it wanted me to write 6706 words, and I wrote 10,013. Not too bloody shabby, am I right? Now the real test will be this current week, because all of a sudden Pacemaker has slammed me with an approximately 12k goal. So let’s see what I can pull off, okay?

    FYI, my writing attention has been split between Book Three and several different GO fics, atm, but I’m feeling like I’m starting to get some focus, and I’ve been coming up with ideas for Book Three that I think are really going to work out. Fingers crossed!
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  • Promote published books – Here’s where I, quite honestly, want to punch a wall. I am so frustrated with promotion, you guys have no idea. The general stuff like social media posts is as depressingly ineffective as always, but now I get to add “complete fucking waste of money” to my list as well. I finally got a Book Bub ad set up, and it garnered me precisely NO response. Mind you it was just a short, cheaper promotion, but NO response? Literally NO response, I’m not exaggerating here. Book Bub is supposed to be the GOOD promotion site. It has tons of excellent reviews, and yet my ad got NO response. So now I’m left here to wonder whether the site really isn’t as good as people claim it is, or if there’s something about my book specifically that turns people off. I have a hard time believing that, since I’ve heard tons of excellent things and no bad things about the cover art, and yet… I don’t know, people, what do you think? Because honestly, I’m just enraged right now that I finally took a chance at spending a little bit of money and saw NOTHING for it. That’s all kind of bullshit right there.
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  • Promote Patreon & exclusive content – I haven’t gotten any Patreon-exclusive content up for June yet, but it’s coming. After completing “In Silence Our Secrets Lie”, I announced that all future AO3 content will be released for early-access to my Patrons first, so there’s going to be plenty of content before you know it. Plus I have more ideas for world-centric shorts from my novels in the works. It’s all about getting them down on the page/screen.
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  • Work on Author social media – Once I established that I wasn’t going to bother writing a post last week I also didn’t bother to check any numbers, so the ones I report today are going to count for the combined two weeks. In general there’s really not much to report anyway. I’ve been trying to be active on the accounts, but with the climate the way it is right now I just don’t think people are really paying attention to the average person. Whatever the reason, all I can really tell you is that the Twitter account lost one follower and the Instagram account gained eight (hello Good Omens fandom).
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Goal #3: Be a YouTuber

I don’t want to talk about it.

  • Film/edit/upload – I don’t want to talk about it!
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  • Promote and Interact (Social Media) – I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!
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  • Expand website content – I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING TALK ABOUT IT!
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Goal #4: Be Fun!

As you can imagine, being a grouchy, seasonally-affective, allergy-ridden ball of fuss with a list of other issues that she doesn’t even want to share does not make a person all that much fun to be around. That said, I’ve managed to force myself to relax a wee bit over the past few weeks.

  • Read 50 books throughout the year – I mentioned last time that I’d been reading “As Old as Time”, the second ‘Disney’s Twisted Tales’ book. I finished since then, and I can officially say that it’s my favorite so far. I mean, I’ve only read the two so far, but still, I enjoyed it even more than the first. I liked the author’s take on Belle and the Beast, and the overarching commentary on morality. It was good stuff, is what I’m saying.

    Other than that I haven’t really been reading proper books. I got caught up in a few more novel-length fanfictions that were just fantastic, so I once again refuse to feel bad about focusing on them. Some of these stories seriously need to be re-written as original concepts and published, they’re that good.
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  • Play video games – Games haven’t much been on my radar of late. I find them difficult to focus on, for whatever reason. That said, I did play several games with the family when the cousin-in-law came to visit, including a truly hysterical round of ‘Winter Games’ on the C64 Mini. I’ve also picked here and there at things like ‘Tetris 99’ and, as mentioned previously, I’ve taken to ‘Just Dance 2020’ for my exercise needs recently, but that’s about all that I can report.
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  • Watch shows/movies – Now, WATCHING stuff? That’s been happening a lot lately, if for no other reason than the weather has been so crap that curling up on the couch is rather comforting. I couldn’t begin to remember half of what we watched over the past two weeks, but off the top of my head we finished the most recent season of ‘Attack on Titan’, watched all three ‘Berserk’ movies, tried a few other random anime on a Funimation trial, showed the little one a few more of our favorite movies, and had a few ridiculous days during which we just binged stupid amounts of YouTube. There’s been a lot of visual consumption, let’s just go ahead and leave it at that.

So yeah, that wasn’t the greatest post, but maybe getting some of my frustrations out will make me feel better? I mean, it hasn’t yet, but maybe later. Either way, it’s done now, so whatever happens happens. I hope you guys are having a better June than I am!


How was your week? Any accomplishments you want to share? Goals you worked hard on? Feel free to share in the comments! ❤

Plans & Goals 2020: Week 22 Review

It’s been a long time since I’ve said this at the beginning of one of these posts, so I’m definitely going to say it now: I have no idea where the last week went on me. Seriously, I could swear I JUST wrote last week’s post, and looking at a few of my goal-headers now I’ve got a pretty rough cringe on my face. It’s…it’s not going to be an overwhelmingly productive post, let’s just go ahead and say that right now.

A few random things before I get into it:

The school year is coming to a close, and it’s been one heck of a messy and strange one, what with the kids not being able to, you know…actually go to school. Adrianna has done well regardless, and is currently working on a kind of final project for the year. It involves using Google Maps to plan a theoretical trip across Canada, taking certain stipulations in mind (such as only being allowed to drive 8 hours per day). I’ve been helping her with it and I wanted to mention it because something amused the hell out of me. There were pre-projects questions which basically had the kids guess certain outcomes, such as how many kilometers they would end up driving by the end of it, and how much gas and hotels would cost in the end. To help her with her guesses I gave Adrianna a few basic numbers, such as telling her the approximate cost of a hotel room and showing her on a map how far 100 km is. The result? Her distance guess was within 400 km, and her cost guess was only $200 off. o.O Kid is a hell of an estimator! lol

Another thing that I wanted to quickly bring up is the loosening Covid-19 restrictions that are occurring in many places. While it’s obviously great to see things opening up again, larger groups being allowed to congregate, and so on, I wanted to remind you all that this is far from over, so you should still be cautious. Covid hasn’t just gone away. There’s probably even going to be a resurgence of it as a result of these looser restrictions. So just keep staying as safe as you can. Wear your masks, wash your hands, keep away from anyone you know who might be ill, and just, in general, be smart about things.

Last but not least, I wanted to mention that I have a #DTIYS (Draw This In Your Style) contest going on over on my author Instagram account. The art in question, as well as the prize, might not be something everyone is interested, but I want to spread it around to make sure that anyone who IS interested gets a chance to give it a go. This is the drawing, which you are tasked with redrawing in your own style, and my favorite entry by the end of June will get to choose the plot of a short (1k- 5k-word) Good Omens fanfic. (Obviously anything I deem to be vulgar – which isn’t much considering my penchant for writing erotica – will be vetoed.) So head on over to Instagram and give it a go if you’re interested!

Okay, now that that’s out of the way, let’s get on with the main post!


Goal #1: Be Healthier

The concept of being healthier, in general, was a major wash last week. That’s not to say that I was overly UNhealthy, but my brain just wasn’t in the right place, and a lot of nonsense went down. I’ll clarify more in the specific sub-goals:

  • Eat better (and less) – I didn’t eat overly poorly last week, but there were definitely a few major hiccups. For one, we finally got some gorgeous weather, which quickly turned into “omfg it’s too goddamn hot” territory, which resulted in the purchasing of several tubs of Nestle-bar-flavored ice creams. I didn’t go crazy or anything, but we had ice cream in the evening three out of four days in a row, and I also made copycat Orange Julius’s on a few of those days. All the things that cool you down are deliciously sugary! I can’t be blamed!

    I can, however, be blamed for constantly snacking on little things that were easy to grab, such as the bag of Lego-shaped hard candies that’s been in our cupboard for a while. If I’d properly tracked all those snacks I’m sure I would be overwhelmingly disgusted with myself for the explosion of calories, but I didn’t, so let’s just move on and say that I’m trying to do better now…
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  • Drink more water – Water still isn’t a problem, especially with the weather getting nicer, which encouraged me to guzzle even more than usual. I have, however, also been drinking a lot of coffee, so I’m going to start tracking more carefully to make sure that I’m not cancelling myself out with too much diuretic in my system.
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  • Get more exercise – Here’s where things really collapsed. At the beginning of last week I was set to begin the second phase of P90X-2. What happened is that I did the first new video, and promptly got so bloody discouraged that I gave up before the video was even done. The problem, for the most part, is that this particular video was pretty much entirely different forms of push-ups and pull-ups… I am SHIT at push-ups, even doing them on my knees, and I am still incapable of doing a SINGLE pull-up without bracing myself with my feet on a chair. So about halfway through the video, having properly accomplished precisely NONE of the exercises, I shut my Chromebook, stalked away, and moped around doing yard-work for the rest of the morning. (Hey, at least the yard-work was exercise, right?)

    After that truly abysmal display, I decided to take a week off from P90X-2 and relax with a few Zombies, Run! missions throughout the week instead. That went great…for precisely one day. The problem here being that it had been a long time since I’d done any running, and my running shoes are old and beat to hell, so I ended up just ripping the living shit out of the backs of my ankles. It’s now a week later and they haven’t properly healed. So, yeah, I didn’t do any more runs.

    With all of that said, I did try this new thing where I actually get my lazy ass up and just moving around the house in general instead of vegetating most of the day away. I even wrote while standing at the kitchen counter, and jumped around the living room while helping Jason with a puzzle game. It served to show me, through the pain in my feet and thighs, that I’ve definitely been spending too much time sitting. And since my job (which I hope to be able to return to in the Fall) requires me to spend many hours walking and standing, it might be a good idea to rectify that.

    I also picked up a stability ball, which is the one piece of equipment I was missing for P90X-2 (I was doing modified moves), and as of yesterday I restarted the first phase. My tentative plan at the moment is to redo those videos with the missing piece of equipment, and spend as much of each day on my feet as possible, and see how I feel in a couple of weeks.

    Phew! I think that’s the longest I’ve ever spent in one of these posts going on about exercise. Let’s move on now.
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  • Lose 2 lbs per month – The short answer is no. The slightly longer answer is that my weight has been bobbling around between 176 and 180 for quite a while now, depending on how shittily I’m eating on any given day. As of this morning it was 176.4, so let’s keep that in mind and see where we are next week.
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Goal #2: Be an Author

Writing hasn’t let me down in ages. It’s seriously my rock right now. In fact, I’m almost halfway through my Pacemaker goal for the year, which is a huge bloody deal because the past 3-4 years in a row the first half of the year has been my absolute worst time. Usually come June I’ve barely gotten 15% of the way through my goal, so to see my numbers creeping toward 50% on the first of June is a major boost to my ego.

  • Write 500,000 words throughout the year – Moving into more specific numbers, last week my Pacemaker account wanted me to write 10,977 words. I pushed nearly 2k past that with a total of 12,515 words. What’s nice is that those words were rather varied. Some of them went toward “In Silence Our Secrets Lie“, some went toward “The Other World: Book Three”, some went toward a joint project I’m doing with a comic artist, and some went toward a personal project. While most professional authors don’t really suggest splitting your attention like that, I’ve always been someone who can’t focus on one project if I’m mentally or emotionally in the mood for another, and jumping around like that means that I GET WORDS WRITTEN, so I refuse to apologize. 😛
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  • Promote published books – I’ve still got my Kindle ad campaign running, but at the moment I still have no idea how it’s actually doing because the campaigns page on my account is still a blank page. I mean, I could base my assumptions on book sales and pages read as they pop up (there have been a few), but part of deciding whether an ad has been successful or not is knowing how many people SAW it, not just how many people clicked on it. To that end, I’ve been pestering Kindle, but haven’t gotten any response yet.
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  • Promote Patreon & exclusive content – I finally got a Patron-exclusive up right under the wire for the end of May, but at least it was a doozy! I decided to share the completed draft (still subject to editing) of the full first chapter of “The Other World: Book Three”. In addition, I set the Google file to accept comments from anyone who has access, so you can tell me what you think! If you’re interested in that kind of thing, go check out my Patreon now!
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  • Work on Author social media – It was a rough week for social media all around, not ONLY because I stayed away from it for a few days. If you don’t know what’s been going on this past week…lucky you, honestly. But basically, shit has been going down and Twitter in particular has been a cesspool of rage from all sides. As a result, I’ve been pretty much just staying away. It’s not that i don’t have opinions and beliefs regarding the situation; I just don’t feel the need to add them to the never-ending void of hate and misery. I’d rather just step back a bit until people start to calm down.

    With that said, my author Twitter account remained stable, and my Instagram account gained two followers.
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Goal #3: Be a YouTuber

Have you ever felt like the world was trying really, really hard to tell you to give the fuck up already? *cough cough*

  • Film/edit/upload – Without going into too much detail, it has rarely been this difficult to get a bloody video edited and uploaded. Part of it can be attributed to Jason wanting to make the edits genuinely fun and entertaining, but a lot of it is also outside forces that keep smacking us upside the head. Like, for instance, how we lots power the other day when it got so hot that a power pole spontaneously combusted. Or how Jason found some missing files that he required from his old computer, which is so thoroughly unstable at this point that it takes nearly half an hour just to boot up, and twice as long to transfer anything to a thumb-drive. Long story short, everything is a major pain in the ass, but yes, Jason is still stalwartly working on that video whenever he has time, and if we ever manage to get it up we’ll celebrate by filming the other catch-up vids.
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  • Promote and Interact (Social Media) – See above. My channel accounts (particularly the Twitter) have been subjectively much more depressing and rage-inducing than my author ones, so they’ve been more ignored over the past few days. Also, I get the feeling that people are in bitchy-emotional-unfollow mode, so I won’t agonize over the nine lost Twitter followers or four lost Instagram followers.
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  • Expand website content – Fuck this goal right here. Why do I do this to myself every year?
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Goal #4: Be Fun!

Random note about doing fun things: my daughter has become a little bit obsessed with badminton. Which is extra hysterical because she’s sooooo bad at it (not that I’m much better). I mention this because we’ve spent several hours outside in the nice weather, stubbornly failing to pull off any kind of a proper rally, and it’s been a laugh and a half.

  • Read 50 books throughout the year – I don’t have any completed books to report this week, but to go along with my totally befuddled brain of late, I can report that I’m currently reading three different books at once. One is the second in the “Disney’s Twisted Tales” series, one is the second “Walking Dead” book, and the third is another novel-length fanfiction that is just fan-fucking-tastic. As with my writing, I’ve been reading based on mood. Sue me.

    That said, I do plan to try to focus on the Twisted Tale over the next few days, because it has an interesting back-and-forth, past-and-future thing going on that I’m finding rather interesting.
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  • Play video games – I’m gonna be honest here; it’s kinda like I’ve forgotten that video games exist this past week. Other than co-playing that puzzle game I mentioned earlier with Jason, I haven’t been playing ANYTHING. My “Animal Crossing” character is probably face-down in a lake somewhere, and the “Borderlands 3” characters are probably wondering whether I was eaten by skags.
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  • Watch shows/movies – Of late, Jason and I have mostly been re-watching old favorites (such as “True Lies”, which we watched lat night, and “Commando”, which we showed Adrianna just to see her gawk at Arnie murdering an entire island).
    We did watch a newer movie the other night though: “Guns Akimbo”. And here’s the thing…I knew literally NOTHING about this movie going in, beyond the fact that it stars Danielle Radcliffe. And you know what? I’m kinda glad I didn’t, because it made the ludicrousness of it that much more entertaining. It’s far from a classic, but it made me laugh, made me cringe, and filled the hole in me that craves mindless violence. Quite enjoyably fucked up.

So we come to the end of another post on this, the 1st day of June. With this particular ending I just want to remind everyone to take care of yourself – both physically and mentally – and to stay safe. These are fucked up times, my friends, but we can make it through to the other side.


How was your week? Any accomplishments you want to share? Goals you worked hard on? Feel free to share in the comments! ❤

Plans & Goals 2020: Week 21 Review

So, right off the bat, WordPress has a new editor system which I’m trying out with this post, and because of my scrutinizing of said system, I noticed that for the past TWENTY WEEKS I’ve been titling these posts as “Plan & Goals” instead of “Plans and Goals”. Apparently I only have one plan, you guys. One track mind and all that.

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?

Okay, okay…I can get past this. 😛 MOVING ON!

I mentioned last week that my mind has been a bit…off lately. That has not changed. I’m not sure exactly what it is, but I’m not above blaming the multiple facets of the Covid pandemic. That said, I think the fact that we’re finally getting some decent spring weather is starting to help. Waking up to sunlight and actually experiencing that sunlight for the full day is definitely pleasant. I actually went out and did some gardening the past two days in a row, and the physical activity is quite nice. On that same note though: fuck vines. Fuck them in their stupid viney arses.

(To clarify, the snaky bastards look pretty for about a week while they’re blooming their pretty purple flowers, but after that all they do is sneak underneath everything and destroy my other landscaping, not to mention our backyard deck. -_-)

Okay, I don’t really have a lot else to talk about this week that isn’t directly related to goals, so let’s go ahead and get into it.


Goal #1: Be Healthier

Okay, so…you know what? It would be easier to just go ahead and get into the sub-goals to best explain what’s going on here…

  • Eat better (and less) – In an overall sense, I would say that this goal has been going decently over the past week, but there were some definite hiccups. Said hiccup’s name is Justin. (Sorry bro…lol) Social distancing restrictions have been relaxed a bit in Nova Scotia, and as a result we had a visit from Jason’s cousin for two nights in the middle of the week. I’m always up for company – especially company that enjoys drinking and playing random games (we learned Unstable Unicorns this time!), but it also reasonably leads to overeating. And it seems as though whenever I have one of those gorging days, it takes three to four days before I can convince myself to STAHP.
    To clarify; I definitely overate this week. But with that said, I don’t feel like I overate enough to justify what I’m going to explain a bit further down…
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  • Drink more water – Water has been no problem. I’m drinking tons, especially first thing in the morning. I drink coffee and tea too, but have been making sure to sneak in glasses of water between them so I don’t get behind. Two thumbs up for me here.
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  • Get more exercise – This one is a double-edged knife. So, I did do all my P90X2 vids last week, even with the drinking nights involved. All well and good there, no major issues or anything.
    The problem actually came this morning. I was set to start a new video, since I’m now on the second month of the program, but it just wasn’t happening. I kinda felt like the universe was trying to tell me something, to be honest. First the file just refused to play, even after trying several different players, then my Chromebook just froze up, refusing to download any other apps and being slow as sin. Then, after over half an hour, when I finally got the video playing…I couldn’t do any of the goddamn exercises. The vid is almost entirely pull-ups/chin-ups (which I am physically incapable of doing) and varieties of push-ups (which I can only do about ten off before my arms collapse underneath me).
    Long story short, the entire morning was very discouraging overall, and I ended up giving up on the vid about halfway through in a frustrated rage. I went out and did some gardening instead.
    Long story short addendum: I’d chosen to skip the optional “rest week”, but after today’s epic failure I think I might take it after all, and spend the week doing Zombies Run missions instead. Then I’ll see how I feel next week.
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  • Lose 2 lbs per month – So…here’s the thing. Fuck my life. That’s the thing.
    Okay, okay, so…the real thing is that I’m honestly beginning to believe that I can’t lose weight anymore. I know that’s stupid and untrue, but it’s definitely feeling like it. Because, you see…yeah, sometimes I have bad days and overeat or whatever, but in a general, overall view of things, I’ve been doing well and exercising my ass off. And yet, I might – might – lose a pound or two, only to put it back on a few days later. Overall I have accomplished NOTHING concerning my weight since the beginning of the year. And before anyone brings up muscle gain and changes in body composition and whatnot…no. I’ve taken measurements, I’ve taken photos throughout, and I’ve kept track of things like body fat percentage, and NOTHING IS CHANGING.
    And honestly, I don’t know if I have the energy to give a fuck anymore. It’s getting exhausting trying to care. I’m seriously considering saying fuck it and just buying a whole new wardrobe that fits my stubborn-ass body.

    .

Goal #2: Be an Author

Writing, as has become the case over the past year or so, seems to be my one constant that hasn’t been disappointing me terribly.

  • Write 500,000 words throughout the year – I spent most of the week working on “In Silence Our Secrets Lie” because it’s nearly done and I’m excited to have it complete (although it is a bit bittersweet, I’ll admit). I also dabbled a bit with a piece I’m writing as a compliment to a comic I’ve been enjoying, and finally I did a bit of (good!) work on “The Other World: Book Three”. Over those three projects I managed to scrape together 13,263 words over the past week, which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. It’s especially nice since my Pacemaker.press account was only looking for 11,219 words. Yay for continuing to kick the weekly goals’ asses!
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  • Promote published books – I did something totally unprecedented this past week: I set up a Kindle ad campaign.
    It’s only a small one, as cheap as I could go with their defaults, but it’s something, right? Mainly I’m curious to see whether the campaign actually accomplishes anything. Thus far I don’t really see anything worth reporting. One ebook sale and some KU pages read, but that’s it.
    I’m also waiting to hear from Kindle on the fact that my “Ad Campaigns” page is a blank white slate with no stats or anything. Kinda hard to see if it’s doing anything that way.
    I also mentioned last week that I’d joined BookBub as a possible advertising venue and was waiting to get confirmation on my author profile. That’s all good now, but I haven’t set up any ads with them yet. There are a few different options and I want to try to figure out what’s going to give me the best bang for my buck if I’m going to be spending money.
    .
  • Promote Patreon & exclusive content – Shhhhhiii- Okay, so…I just, like…totally forgot about Patreon this past week. Sorry my lovely Patrons! I promise I’ll find some stuff to post over the next few days!
    .
  • Work on Author social media – I haven’t really got anything to report here for this week. Social media has been a steady but slow process with me lately. No excuses or anything, just stating the facts.
    As far as the author accounts, the Twitter lost two followers and the Instagram gained one, so…nothing to really speak of.
    .

Goal #3: Be a YouTuber

Can I just skip this entire section? No? Okay, okay, fine…

  • Film/edit/upload – Between me being sick (don’t worry, it was just some kind of sinus bug), then us having company for two days, then having other issues I was dealing with…yeah, nothing in particular happened. Jason and I started playing around with some editing last night, but there were some issues that we had to fix with the files, so not too much forward momentum occurred. We’re going to work on that vid again tonight, and maybe, if we’re lucky, it might get uploaded sometime before the end of days.
    .
  • Promote and Interact (Social Media) – *See the author section* Yeah, I’m not going to really get into it. The Twitter account gained two followers and the Instagram lost two, so the week was pretty much a wash.
    .
  • Expand website content – I refuse to address this section. Moving on.
    .

Goal #4: Be Fun!

Fun? Fun? Did someone say fun?

Well, there was the aforementioned visitation involving drinking and games. We played a couple of rounds of “Unstable Unicorns” (which lasted way longer than what the box claims), as well as a round of “80’s Trivial Pursuit” and “Name that Tune: 80’s DVD Edition”. The result was a high-quality drunkenness, and a lot of embarrassment on my part as I honestly don’t know who the fuck sings what…I’m all about lyrics and that’s it.

  • Read 50 books throughout the year – I read NOTHING last week! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…..NOTHING!
    Okay, that’s not entirely true: I read three more novel-length Good Omens fanfics. And while I can’t record those on my Goodreads app as part of my 50 books challenge, I still refuse to apologize. Some of these fics are fan-fucking-tastic. They’re well-written, engaging, and a couple even made me cry. So fuck you. I’m reading. It’s good. Moving on.
    .
  • Play video games – Gaming was had in short, erratic bursts last week. I played a little bit of Animal Crossing, a little bit of Smash Bros, a little bit of the Commodore 64 Mini, a little bit of Pac-Man Championship Edition 2, tried out Splatoon 2 for the first time (fun, but hard to get used to!), and I FEEL like I played Undertale, since Adrianna gave me a constant play-by-play while SHE was playing it.
    In particular, the C64 Mini bit was a blast. Jason, Justin, Adrianna, and I played a full round of Winter Games, and laughed our asses off at each other as we fought to try to learn the controls of each event. The highlight of the night was Jason managing to get a score of above 1 in the figure skating event. I thought I was gonna die laughing.
    .
  • Watch shows/movies – We’ve picked through a few episodes of random things over the past week (such as “What We Do In The Shadows”), but the main show we watched the past week was “Parasyte”, a 24-episode anime that’s playing on Netflix right now. It was fantastic, for the record. We devoured the whole show in two days. So yeah, there was that!
    As far as movies, I’m drawing a blank. I know we watched a few last week, but they must not have left a major impression because my brain is playing white noise as I try to remember. I know we had “The Running Man” playing while we were playing board games, and we showed Adrianna “Scott Pilgrim VS The World” (she loved it, fyi), but the rest of what I’m SURE we watched is caught in the back of my brain somewhere.
    OH!
    OH, I just remembered, we watched an old horror called “Dead Space”. It had a bit of an “Alien” vibe, but…awful. lol It might be worth watching for some just because it has a young Brian Cranston in it, but other than that, it was pretty lame.

Okay, I’ve jammed out a bunch of negativity in this week’s post, so I’m going to step back now, take a breath, and try to get myself into a better head-space for the current week. Wish me luck!


How was your week? Any accomplishments you want to share? Goals you worked hard on? Feel free to share in the comments! ❤

Plan & Goals 2020: Week 17 Review

weekinreview

How many weeks are we into social distancing right now? I’ve got to admit, I’ve lost all sense of the passage of time. It’s especially difficult to tell where we are in the year since it keeps RANDOMLY FRIKKIN’ SNOWING in Nova Scotia. I feel like we’ve somehow gone back in time. What year is it even? WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

In all seriousness, there’s been lots of news floating around, mostly coming from the US, about cities reopening services, opening beaches and the like, and from Canada some huge groupings of protesters trying to get things put back to normal. And with all that going on I just wanted to take a moment to remind you all to NOT BE DUMB-ASSES. The more you refuse to follow the rules, the more you insist on going out in large groups, the more you fail to take even the most basic precautions, the longer this thing is going to last. I’ll be the first person to tell you that things will have to break eventually, lest the world economy shatter into a million pieces, but for the time being we have to all do our part or it’s pointless. Do you want more people to die? No? Then stay the fuck home you selfish pricks. 

Okay. Now that I’ve got that out of my system…


Goal #1: Be Healthier

Let’s not mince words here. I had a really, really bad week. But it’s leading up to something! As of today (possibly as you’re reading this) I’m starting P90X-2, and the intention is to take it very seriously. I expect this program to kick my ass up and down this house, and that’s what I want. But in the days leading up to that I decided to give myself a bit of a break, soooo….

  • Eat better (and less) – ….I’ve been eating like a pig. Okay, it might not be the worst I’ve ever been, but there’s definitely been a lot of carbs on the menu, and my portions haven’t exactly been small. But I intend to get my ass in gear with a better diet in tandem to P90X-2, so you can forgive me for splurging for a few days beforehand, right?
    .
  • Drink more water – Still drinking plenty of water, although I suspect I actually may still need a bit more than what I’ve been getting. I had a couple of days of feeling a bit scatterbrained and unable to focus, and I think I may have actually just been a tad dehydrated, so I’m going to start tracking my intake a little better.
    .
  • Get more exercise – Again, I gave myself a few days off here before starting the new program. I did do a few days of exercise during the first half of the week, but allowed myself to rest for the second half. Things are going to get really interesting from here, so I figured I deserved a wee bit of downtime before sacrificing myself to the P90X-2 gods.
    .
  • Lose 2 lbs per month – I haven’t been weighing myself, to be perfectly honest, because I know (roughly) where I am and I just haven’t wanted to see the number. That said, I’ll be weighing myself today (will have done by the time you’re reading this) for my start-of-program stats, and I’ll start letting you know how things are going next week when I’ve actually been good for a full week (*cough cough*).
    .

Goal #2: Be an Author

First off, I’d like to address the mini-goal of finishing a draft of “The Other World: Book Three” in April. As I mentioned last week, that definitely didn’t happen, not for a lack of trying but because I had some major writer’s block when it came to that particular WIP. Luckily, however, I’ve recently come up with a few ideas that I think will get the ball rolling, so to speak, so I intend to shift that mini-goal into May. Wish me luck!

  • Write 500,000 words throughout the year – In the meantime, while my mini-goal didn’t go over, I’ve still been writing plenty. I’ve been writing my fanfics, of course, but I also wrote a short from the world of “Nowhere to Hide” that I put up on my Patreon as an exclusive piece (more on that in a moment). All things totalled, I wrote 9513 words last week. My Pacemaker.press account was only looking for 7883 words, so that’s a pretty good week!
    .
  • Promote published books – I’ve still been promoting my social distancing sale of course, though the interest in that seems to have died down. Maybe I should make some new images for it or something… On other fronts, however, I’ve got a friend looking over the erotica I write under a pen name, because I’ll be ‘revealing’ and promoting that soon as well. While I’ll continue to publish those under the pen name for simplicity of keeping SFW and NSFW stuff separated, I don’t really see any point in hiding the fact that I write it, since I regularly promote my smutty fanfiction like it’s going out of style. If you don’t like it, don’t read it, that’s what I figure!
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  • Promote Patreon & exclusive content – As mentioned above, I recently posted an exclusive piece on my Patreon. It’s called “To Be Devoured” and it’s a short story from the world of my “Nowhere to Hide” novel. If you’ve read the book it’s an interesting little look at what happened behind the scenes of the news report from the opening chapter. So if you’re interested, check out my Patreon! ❤
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  • Work on Author social media – Social media was going okay for the first half of the week…then…you know, I don’t even really know what happened! I just kinda…stopped. It coincided with the days I took off from diet and exercise, so maybe my entire brain just decided to shut down and give up everything at once. Either way, the second half of the week saw me do basically nothing on social media. Yet, surprisingly, I still gained 1 follower on the Twitter account and 3 on the Instagram account. It must be those lovely Good Omens fans who are always tracking me down through my fanfics. XD
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Goal #3: Be a YouTuber

*SIGH*

  • Film/edit/upload – Okay, straight up, I totally intended to start filming this past week. And then everything broke. Okay, maybe that’s a little dramatic, but first off, my old laptop (the one we use to record our audio) completely crapped out on itself. I’m not exactly sure what’s wrong but it just keeps going to a blue Windows-style boot screen with nothing else on it and it just stays there forever. I’ve tried booting a dozen different ways, including running pre-boot scans and going in under various BIOS settings, but it just will not do anything other than go to that screen.

    So we eventually established that we’re just going to have to use Jason’s new computer for our audio (not a huge deal, but annoying since we’ll have to move it up and downstairs all the time since it’s also our editing computer). But then I tried the Snowball ICE microphone that the lovely miss Marie sent us a while back…and that wouldn’t bloody work. After a couple of days of troubleshooting we eventually established that this particular mic is no longer supported by the company for newer operating systems. For bloody hell’s sake.

    It’s not the end of the world since we still have the old mic we were using, but between those two items I spent all week troubleshooting instead of actually getting into the filming, which is obviously frustrating.
    .

  • Promote and Interact (Social Media) – So if I couldn’t get any filming and whatnot done, I probably focused on the social media aspect, right?
    WRONG.
    The channel social media accounts suffered the same fate as the author ones in the second half of the week. I guess my brain really did shut down. Quite stupid of me, but it’s in the past now and it’s time to look to the future! That said, the Twitter account stayed the same last week and the Instagram lost 5 followers. *epic groan*
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  • Expand website content – Yeah, no, still…uh. Shut up. I spent most of the week troubleshooting shit. Gimmi a break.
    .

Goal #4: Be Fun!

Bitch, I’ve never been MORE fun!

  • Read 50 books throughout the year – So I finished “Once Upon a Dream” from the Twisted Tales series, and I can officially state that I loved it. It was a bit different from what I was expecting, but all in all it was an interesting take on the Sleeping Beauty tale, and on a personal note I really appreciated how concepts of depression were handled in some of the later chapters. It really caught me by surprise and was, I feel, well done. I’ll definitely be reading through the rest of the series, but for the moment I might move on to something a little different. I’m feeling like I’m in a bit of a horror mood now. I might pick up one of the numerous unread Stephen King’s I have, though it might have to be one of his shorter ones for now. 😛
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  • Play video games – Gaming has been all over the place lately. I don’t know if it’s because I’m leaning more toward whatever Jason and Adrianna feel like playing, or because my brain just refuses to narrow in on any one particular thing in recent days. Either way I’ve played bits and pieces of SNES Classic games, “Borderlands 3”, “Katamari Forever” AND “Katamari ReRoll”, and the occasional round or two of “Resident Evil 3 Resistance”. Among all that nonsense, however, I finally managed to defeat that GODDAMN Katagawa Ball in “Borderlands 3”, so I might get some focus back on that one now that I’m not cursing its name.
    .
  • Watch shows/movies – We’ve been focusing more on movies than shows recently (although we’re still working on “Brooklyn 99” and just caught up the last two episodes of “Archer” that we realized we’d never watched), though most of them have been older b-movie fair that isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. That said, we recently watched “TAG” on Netflix, which was awesome in my opinion, and just yesterday we watched “Villains” on Prime Video, which was not quite what I was expecting, but I enjoyed it. We also watched some classic old horror like “Slumber Party Massacre” and some not-so-classic old horror like “Night Wish”, and I can vouch for them both if you’re a fan of slashers and/or weird-ass supernatural nonsense.

And that, as they say, is that! It was…well, to be honest it was kind of a shit week. Writing stuff stayed strong, and my media consumption has certainly been strong, but everything else was a total bust. Here’s hoping that the coming week proves more fruitful, what with starting P90X-2 and hopefully actually settling in to do some vid recording. Wish me luck!

How was your week? Any accomplishments you want to share? Goals you worked hard on? Feel free to share in the comments! ❤

Saying Goodbye to the Goals of 2019! (Week 52 in Review)

plansandgoals2019weeklyreview

It’s finally that time, you guys. It’s time to look through 2019 and see what I made of my goals for the year. I won’t lie: there were definitely some failures and absolutely some very weak attempts, but there was also awesomeness as well. So first off, let’s take a quick look at what happened in week 52, the final week of the year:


Goal #1: Write half a million words.

I fully understood that writing was going to take a major back-burner on this last week; I mean, come on you guys…it was Christmas! But I also actually ended up writing a lot more than I was expecting to. I was determined to finish off my Ineffable Advent without missing any days, so I managed to find moments here and there and wrote as fast as I could. I can’t speak to the quality of the pieces, but the lovely people over at AO3 seem to have enjoyed them so I guess I did okay!

Long story short, I ended up writing 10,979 words right at the end of the year, which was pretty wicked in my opinion.

  • Goal #1a: Write at least a quarter million fictional words.  What’s even better than managing to write 11k words throughout the holidays is the fact that just under 10k of them (9956 words) were fictional ones! Once again we have my Ineffable Advent to thank for that one. I was plucking away like a maniac, let me tell you.

Goal #2: Read at least 50 books.

You’re probably going to laugh at me for this one…but I didn’t end up finishing A Christmas Carol. <<insert laughing/embarrassed emoji here>>

I definitely intended to, but every time I found a few moments during which I could read I chose to write instead. 😐 I trust you’ll forgive me for that one. One of these years I’m going to get through that book, I swear. lol

Goal #3: Build my social media communities…EVERYWHERE!

Social media usage slowed down as the holidays took over, although I still posted some stuff here and there as we celebrated together. Reasonably, viewing of social media was also down, but honestly? I think that’s a good thing. We shouldn’t be screwing around on our phones when we should be enjoying time with friends and family.

Last week’s numbers are as follows:

  • The YouTube channel went up 5 followers
  • The YouTube Twitter account stayed the same
  • The YouTube Instagram went down 4 followers
  • The Snapchat account’s score stayed the same
  • The Author Twitter account stayed the same
  • The Author Instagram account gained 1 follower

Basically another steady week with little to no movement in any direction. Except for five random new YouTube subscribers which, I have to admit, confuses me a tad. But hey, I’ll take it!

Goal #4: Play more (proper) video games.

I did play some games during the last week of the year! For one thing, Jason got me the Mana collection for the Switch, and I immediately delved into Secret of Mana because that game is nostalgia in a cartridge for me. For another thing I got Jason Mortal Kombat 11 and spent some time playing that with him. For ANOTHER we had company and ended up playing Smash Bros on the Switch for several hours. It was all a very good time. 🙂

Goal #5: Put more time, focus, and energy into the YouTube channel. 

There’s no pussyfooting around this one. YouTube was plainly and simply set aside until after the holidays. And since I’m currently in the process of flying back out West for work again (don’t worry, it’s only two weeks this time) there won’t be much done now until at least mid-January, unless Jason feels like filming some stuff on his own.


OKAY! So that’s how the final week of 2019 went, but how did 2019 in GENERAL go? Let’s take a look at the broad numbers!


 

Goal #1: Write half a million words.

The official word count total for all of 2019 is a whopping 472,304 words. WOO! It sucks that I petered off at the end so close to the actual goal, but as I mentioned in previous posts I am still more than pleased with these results. This is far, far more than I’ve ever written in a calendar year before, so I’m exceptionally proud of myself. I can only hope to continue this kind of pace into the new year (and decade)!

  • Goal #1a: Write at least a quarter million fictional words.  Okay, so I finally went back through all the numbers from throughout the year and did the calculations…and, you guys, I murdered this goal. I was fully expecting to pull this one off with the amount of fiction I’ve been writing these past months, but I didn’t expect it to be such a blow-out! It turns out that I wrote 347,105 fictional words in 2019. That’s nearly six short novels worth! Hot DAMN, right? ❤

Goal #2: Read at least 50 books.

As far as Goodreads is concerned, I only read 40 books last year. That’s still quite decent, but also means that I failed my Goodreads challenge.

That said, a very quick skim through the fanfics I’ve been reading tells me that I’ve read the equivalent of about 20 novels just worth of that stuff. So, take that as you will! In my personal opinion, reading is reading, so I did awesome. And if a bunch of that reading just happened to be sappy angelxdemon fluff-n-smut written by fellow hyper-fanatics? Well, that’s my prerogative and ya’ll can keep your mouths shut on the matter. 😛

Goal #3: Build my social media communities…EVERYWHERE!

Looking at the overall numbers for the entire year, everything went up, which is obviously a good thing. The numbers aren’t exactly huge increases though, so I’m finding it difficult to be overly proud about them.

2019’s numbers are as follows:

  • The YouTube channel went up 173 followers
  • The YouTube Twitter account gained 112 followers
  • The YouTube Instagram went up 56 followers
  • The Snapchat account’s score went up points
  • The Author Twitter account went up 44 followers
  • The Author Instagram account gained 235 followers

I wouldn’t exactly call those bad numbers, but they’re definitely rookie ones. Over the course of an entire year the biggest increase was a little over 200? Yeah, no, obviously I have to work harder in 2020.

Goal #4: Play more (proper) video games.

I didn’t really record this one in a way that I can give an overall report on, but suffice it to say that I didn’t end up playing nearly as much as I was hoping or intending to. Part of that comes down to the fact that I ended up out at work in Alberta for four straight months. Part of it is that when I had spare time I chose to spend that time reading or writing (which you can’t really blame me for). Part of it is just good ol’ fashioned failure to make an effort. But as this particular goal was mostly just about enjoying life a bit more, I’ll let it slide, because I enjoyed life just fine in 2019.

Goal #5: Put more time, focus, and energy into the YouTube channel. 

If there’s a failure on the list, this is the one. I’m not even going to make any excuses. There are definitely some good ones, and they’re legitimate, but the overall issue here is that I just haven’t been into it at all. I’m really hoping to turn it around in 2020, but 2019 just had so much else going on for me that I couldn’t find it in me to expend any excess energy on YouTube, especially after the “child-friendly” bullshit began and made everyone terrified to breathe on the platform.

Long story short, YouTube was pretty much a bust in 2019. But I’m not ready to quit yet, so fingers crossed for a significantly more productive 2020!


And that’s what it all boils down to! 2019 is gone, and while some of my goals may as well have not existed at all, some of them ended up being all kinds of success. Overall, I’m pleased, but I definitely have thoughts about the upcoming year! To hear about those thoughts, stay tuned for my Goals 2020 post, coming soon! 😀


How was your YEAR? Did you accomplish any goals? Make any new ones? Do anything else that made you feel awesome and accomplished? Feel free to share in the comments!