2022: The Year of Trying Desperately to Keep It Together (Week 18)

As we speak this morning, I am looking at a jar of preserved, raw quahogs, and I just really wanted to mention it because they look like inconsistently chopped hunks of flesh and I’m maybe just a little bit terrified about actually trying one, but I am totally going to.

For a tiny bit of context, my buddy has returned to work, and he brought a bunch of random stuff from new Brunswick with him, including pure maple syrup, and two bottles of the aforementioned quahogs. I’ve never had a quahog, but the three French-Canadians I’m working with seem quite keen on me trying one. I am trepidatious because I’m not the biggest fan of seafood to begin with, but I’m also not a pussy, sooooo….lol

We are now halfway through May, and I am a week into the new job. In case you were wondering, it’s going well so far! I’m working with two guys (the boss being the third) who I only just met on this job, but they’re both nice, and the boss is my buddy from a previous job, so that’s great. It’s standard work, fairly laid back, and the weather is finally starting to turn around so I’m not freezing for a change. It’s looking like I’m going to get a good run out of this job too, which is what I really wanted. It’s going to suck if I ended up working straight through the summer, but after the past couple of years of very little work I am absolutely going to take it without question or complaint. It’ll be nice to build up some hours into the health plan and pension as well, and I’ll obviously have more than enough hours for an unemployment claim when the job finally does dry up. Let me tell you, it would be nice to approach Christmas without any concerns about spending money for a change. Not that I ever let lack of cash ruin Christmas, but you know what I mean.

Plus I really, really want to get a heat-pump installed in the house so that we can stop relying on electric baseboard heaters, so there’s that too.

In other completely random news before I get into the goals… Before I left for this job I planted some pumpkin seeds and onion bulbs to see if hubby and child can grow some food and/or jack-o-lantern-fodder while I’m gone. Within days of being gone hubby started finding the crows pecking up my pumpkin seeds, the little bastards. But yesterday hubby sent me a picture showing that he’d evened out the garden bed and spread a layer of that black wood chip/dirt mixture that people usually use for their landscaping, so fingers crossed that it helps! I’d really love to see a few pumpkins pop up so we (well, them, unless I’m home by then) have something to carve at Halloween that they grew themselves!

Okay, let’s dive into the nonsense, shall we?

Goal Set #1: Creative Fulfilment

I am genuinely frustrated to say that I don’t really have anything significant to report on the art side of things this week, although there is a little bit of something. Firstly, while chatting online with the kid the other day, I did a rough sketch of Jacob from The Other World. It was very rough, and I didn’t really finish it, but I was fairly amused with it and may actually digitize it at some point. Unfortunately I didn’t think to take a picture of it, and I’m writing this post from work on my breaks, so I can’t share it right now. Maybe if I digitize it I’ll share it next time. ^_^

Secondly, I finished up the line-work on a sketch I did of a collared-and-cuffed Crowley a few weeks ago. I consider this a little thing because it was already mostly done, isn’t all that detailed, and I’m not particularly pleased with how it came out. I might try to re-do it at some point, but for the time being I’m just kinda DONE with it and want to move on to something else. That said, if you’re interested, you can find it over on my Patreon. :3

On the writing side of things I am much more pleased, firstly and foremost because I smashed my word count goal for the week. Pacemaker.press wanted me to write 8641 words, and I blew past that with 9938 words by the end of yesterday. It would probably be more if I didn’t find the first week back to work has my brain all muddled and tired, but we’ll see how the current week goes. I’m also only working 10-hour days at the moment (as opposed to the usual 12s), so that leaves me more time at night to lay back and bang some words out. Hopefully as my brain and body get used to being back to work, that extra time will be more usefully used and I won’t wear out as easy by the end of the day. 😛

Either way, I’m pleased with what I managed to write last week. I will say that most of the writing went toward You Can Stay At My Place for this week’s new chapter, as well as an Our Flag Means Death fic idea that I’ve been playing with on the side. That said, my full intention (ha ha) for this week is to get the new chapter of YCSAMP out of the way early in the week, and then focus on The Other World: Book Three for the remainder of the week. Now that I have Scrivener available to me again there’s going to be a bit of setting up and transferring of what I had done in Google Docs, but I don’t imagine that will take too long. Here’s hoping I’ll have a solid chunk of new writing done for next week’s post.

Goal Set #2: Physical Focus

Okay, SO. You know what is really, really difficult? Convincing yourself not to gorge until your stomach explodes because you’re surrounded by free food. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before with the whole ‘staying in camp for work’ thing, but even when the food isn’t great, it’s free and it’s plentiful, and my stupid brain tells me that I should be eating as much of it as humanly possible.

That’s how the first four or five days of work went, anyway. *cough*

I’ve since managed to push down that urge a bit and I’m trying desperately to do better. This involves drinking a metric ton of water (which, thankfully, is provided in easy-to-carry bottles), along with tea and black coffee, and trying my damnedest to focus on fruits, veggies, and protein for what I eat throughout the day. It is really hard to ignore all the desserts and baked goods, but I’m genuinely trying really hard to focus on fruit for my sugars instead, and to make sure that I get enough protein and fiber for my body to feel satiated.

Also, two of the three guys I’m on this job with are currently doing intermittent fasting, so I’m kinda tempted to try to play along. It can be hard when you’re out here because there are only certain times of day when you can get to the food, but I’ve also never been one for breakfast, so it shouldn’t be too difficult. I just have to take a look at my hours and see if it makes more sense to eat lots at work, or drag it out longer and have a big supper instead.

I haven’t gotten back into any proper exercise yet, but I’m taking it a little slow on that front, mainly because I don’t want to exhaust my body and then be cranky and achy at work. That said, I’m getting a decent amount of steps on the job, and I’m planning to start the 100-Pushups/Situps/Squats challenges again. I did those once back a few years ago, and it did a pretty decent job of building some muscle and getting things moving. Hopefully it’ll help motivate me again to get into something a little more robust.

Goal Set #3: Self-Promotion/Branding

I’m not gonna lie: I haven’t even looked at my numbers for this week, and I’m deciding right now that I’m not even going to bother. I started a new job, I’m getting lots of writing done, and I’m working on getting my body and mind back to snuff for surviving this kind of lifestyle. If I had gains or losses on the social media last week it can wait until next week for my joy and/or scorn.

That said, I did have a random burst of page-reads the other day on Kindle. It looks like someone downloaded and devoured a couple of my pen-named smut. I hope they enjoyed it, but it has also reminded me that I’ve learned so much about writing smut since dropping those on Amazon and I really do have to go back and fix them up at some point…lol

Goal Set #4: Mental Well-Being

The first couple of weeks being away from home for a new job is a bit of a kick in the head mentally, but I’m doing okay so far. The previous job wasn’t that long ago, so I think, emotionally, I’m mostly already into the groove. Also, this weekend will be my days off, so it’s always nice to look forward to that and have a few hours chatting with the kid about absolutely bugger all important. lol

Obviously getting back to work slows down a few of the free-time things, but I do have a few little things to mention…

Games are right-out, not even worth mentioning, because I’ve been choosing to spend my free-time elsewhere. Although, I will say that I’ve been picking up Pokemon Go the past few days, just for a few minutes at a time, because there’s actually a gym at our camp, so I can earn coins while I’m at work. 😛

Reading has slowed, even for fanfic, but is sure to pick up again soon as I get into the swing of things. I did read a few short fics, which I then shared on my Twitter account, because that’s apparently a thing I do now. On my days off, though, I plan to claw through the rest of Part of Your World, and maybe even possibly look at a few of the ebooks I have sitting on my phone. OOH, but I also have to finish the Book of Dust audio book, before I forget what the hell was happening, so I might do that instead while I’m drawing or something. ^_^

Watching is where I have a few little things to report, nothing major, but worth mentioning. Firstly, I did a rewatch of Our Flag Means Death, and I enjoyed it even more the second time around. Seriously, if you haven’t watched it yet, please track it down and enjoy the silly queer pirates, it is SO good. Secondly, because I’m strangely drawn to baking shows, I started watching one called Baking Impossible, which is a contest show where bakers are paired with engineers to create edible insanity. One example is that they had to build a cake ‘tower’ that would survive a simulated earthquake courtesy of a shaker table. It’s highly amusing, if you’re into that sort of thing. Lastly, last night I watched The Mandela Effect on a whim, and omfg it is hamfisted as sin. lol I won’t necessarily say that I didn’t enjoy it at least a little bit, but the way it shoved all the most common Mandela Effect examples in your face was a bit silly, and the ultimate conclusion was QUITE silly. In the end, I think it’s more of a ‘background noise’ movie than anything else, but that’s just me. :3

So that is that for another week! I managed to get this one out on time, got the new YCSAMP chapters up for everyone, and all in all it’s been a pretty decent Monday morning so far! I hope yours is going just as well! ❤

Feel free to let me know how your year is going so far! Do you have any big goals? Specific plans? Anything awesome on the horizon? Share what’s going on with you! 

2022: The Year of Trying Desperately to Keep It Together (Week 17)

Have you ever been absolutely certain that you’re doing something correctly, while simultaneously having someone react to your failed attempts as though you are clearly the idiot in the situation? Have you ever then had someone confirm that you have, in fact, been doing the thing correctly, and that the person doubting you is, in fact, the idiot? It feels pretty good, I’m just sayin’.

What the heck does this have to do with anything? Well, without going into too much detail, there’s something that I have to do for the new job, and I can’t do it because of someone else’s mistake, but that person keeps insisting that I’m doing something wrong. However, it’s just been confirmed by a third party that I am, in fact, doing the right thing, soooooo….

*cough cough*

I’ve been having a DAY, you guys. A pair of days, actually, with the possibility of a further day if something doesn’t fall together soon.

I want to work. Please fix this silly mistake so I can start working.


I honestly don’t have all that much else to talk about ahead of time this week because the past few days have been all about travel and preparing for the new job. So, you know what? Let’s just get on with it.

Goal Set #1: Creative Fulfilment

Out of the gates, I am both surprised and a bit annoyed to have to admit that I didn’t so much as touch anything artistic this past week. I suppose I shouldn’t be all that surprised, since there was a lot to do last week and not a whole lot of downtime for creative ventures, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not at least a little bit perturbed. I have so many ideas for things that I want to draw, but for the last few weeks I just haven’t been able to find the time to put into actually implementing those ideas.

I fully intend to fix that this week, however. Come hell or high water, I am going to DRAW this week. This very night, if I can swing it!

Now, usually this is where I tell you that I did manage a decent amount of writing… *cough cough*

Not to say that I didn’t get a good bit of writing done, but it wasn’t nearly as much as it should have been. Pacemaker.press wanted me to write 9040 words, but I only managed to pull off 5380 words. The funny thing is, I really should have had plenty of time to write during travel day, while spending nearly 15 straight hours on planes or waiting around in airports, but it just didn’t happen that way. The days leading up to travel day were so thoroughly exhausting that I wound up spending most of the flights passed out cold, and then the time in airports catching up on things like food and letting everyone know how I was doing. So I basically wrote bugger all that entire day.

That said, now that I’m here, and I’m settled, and things should be falling into a proper schedule soon, I shouldn’t have too much trouble working in my bits of writing time throughout the work days.

On the topic of what I wrote last week, I spent most of my time focusing on You Can Stay At My Place since I’ve still not managed to get ahead on what I have available to post. That said, I feel like my writer’s block has begun to crack on that front, so here’s hoping that I can get ahead soon and get to work on some of the other projects.

Goal Set #2: Physical Focus

I haven’t got too much to say here right now, because the last few days were a mess of travel and sleeping weird hours and eating weird food. That said, now that I’m all settled in, the plan is to officially try to BE GOOD.

That’s, uh…that’s going to be harder than it sounds, I’m sure, but I have a few reasons to be motivated which I am going to cling to for dear life.

Eating decently in camp is always difficult, but I have a few tricks up my sleeve for this time around, and I have several ideas for physical stuff that will hopefully help me keep the calories at bay while building some muscle. I’m not going to expect anything really noticeable any time soon, but since there’s a good chance that I’m going to be out here for ages this time around, I figure I can probably manage to pull off something of a transformation by the time I’m heading home, right? Right. You know it. :O

Goal Set #3: Self-Promotion/Branding

I continue to be bewildered and befuddled when it comes to this stuff.

On the YouTube side of things, all of the accounts lost slightly last week, which I suppose I can understand since I haven’t been doing much of anything on those accounts. But on the Author side of things everything went up slightly, and I haven’t been doing all that much over there either, soooo…

The really particularly confusing one for me the past couple of weeks is that people are finding my Author YouTube channel (which I just started to upload narrations), which I don’t even bother to promote. I mean, it hasn’t been a lot of people or anything, but the fact that anyone is finding it is just…what? Who? How? Huh?

Maybe I should start narrating my actual books. I haven’t been selling any at all lately, but maybe someone would actually pay a bit of attention if I read it to them? You never know, right? :\

Goal Set #4: Mental Well-Being

The first days of starting a new job back out on the oilsands aren’t really the best time to be talking about mental well-being if we’re being totally logical about things, but let’s pretend for a few moments that I’m not even the slightest bit wary about the prospect of being away from home for possible months at a time, and we’ll just look at the usual suspects, okay?

Firstly, we’ve got the reading side of things, which I have to admit has devolved back into just…just absolutely disgusting quantities of fanfiction. *cough* I did take A Part Of Your World out to the job with me, so I’ll definitely be finishing that at some point, and I’ll be delving back into the audiobooks sooner rather than later as well. But in the meantime…yeah. The thing is that I was already absolutely obsessed with the vast quantity of high-quality Good Omens fanfic out there, and now I’m being presented with a rapidly expanding treasure trove of Our Flag Means Death fanfic as well, and GUYS. FUCK. I’m not even sorry, it’s just all so DELICIOUS.

#HornyForSunshineBoiVSGrumpyBoiDynamics #SorryNotSorry

What’s that? I should act my age? Fuck you, I’m approaching 40, which is when women biologically get the horniest, so I AM ACTING MY AGE.


Moving on to gaming, I can’t really say much of anything because I didn’t really have any spare moments for gaming in the past week. I did play a round or two of Slay the Spire before I left home, but that was pretty much it. That said, I took my PS Vita and Borderlands 2 out here with me, so chances are that I’ll probably mess around with that here and there, particularly on my days off.

And jumping right down to watching stuff… One of the biggest things I’ve been watching recently is the NHL playoffs, which is currently in the first round. Toronto is facing Tampa Bay, and it’s been a really bloody ridiculous series so far. Neither team can stay out of the box, both teams seem to be out for one another’s blood, and they keep trading off on complete massacres, with one team murdering one game, only for the other to murder the next. If the trend continues, though, it’ll mean that Toronto ultimately wins the series, sooooooo….fingers crossed?

Hubby and I also watched The Hunt last week, and it was…not what I was expecting at all. I mean…it was what I was expecting – which was a movie about rich fuckers hunting regular folk for sport, and one particular victim who turns out to be more than they can handle – but it played out much differently from what I would have envisioned. It was…interesting. I’m not really sure how else to say it without giving stuff away. I think it was worth the watch. Yeah. I’m going to say that it was worth the watch, and recommend it. Just, fair warning: you’re going to end up laughing when you didn’t expect to, and you’re going to hate practically every last character (but for good reason).

Lastly, I’ve begun rewatching Our Flag Means Death, because of course I have. In fact, I already watched the first six episodes this evening while getting settled into my new lodgings. I nearly polished off the entire thing in one sitting, but I decided that I wanted to be nice and wide awake for those last two episodes, and it’s getting late, so I figured I’d finish up this post instead. But with that said, consider this your order to go watch OFMD right now. Find a way. Do it. Do it now.

Okay peeps, that pretty much covers all of that, and I’m starting to get sleepy, so I’m going to curl up in my tiny camp bed and indulge in some of that ridiculous amount of fanfiction before I start to drift off. Wish me sweet, smutty dreams! ❤

Feel free to let me know how your year is going so far! Do you have any big goals? Specific plans? Anything awesome on the horizon? Share what’s going on with you! 

2022: The Year of Trying Desperately to Keep It Together (Week 16)

Ladies, gents, and otherwise, it’s the most astoundingly brilliant part of any new oil-sands job: the onboarding process!

Could you hear the sarcasm? If not, you clearly weren’t listening. 😛

Now, don’t get me wrong, my darlings. I will happily jump through all necessary hoops required to get me out on the job site. I’ll fill out a hundred forms, take all the tests, provide all the documentation, and sit through all the online courses and orientation videos. I’ll do it all with a bloody smile on my face.

But that doesn’t mean that it’s any fun. 😛

Or, another way of saying it: I’ve spent almost the entirety of the past 48 hours gleefully hopping through those aforementioned hoops, and I’m so, so, so pleased that it’s almost over. *cough*

Anyway, in case you were wondering, I’m going to be heading out to the new job within the week, which I’m sure will mean a whole lot of things that will become more and more apparent with each of these posts. I won’t really know for sure what things are going to look like until I get there, but for now the things that I do know are:
– I’m going out with a company I’ve worked with previously who treated me pretty well,
– I’m likely going to be doing mostly spark watch and/or confined space watch, both of which are nice, easy types of work,
– The weather is finally kinda-sorta starting to act like Spring, so I should hopefully not be freezing to death,
– There’s a possibility of this job lasting quite a while, which will be tough in some ways, but ultimately very good in many other ways (especially considering how bad the industry has been the past couple of years).

With that in mind, I’ve got tentative plans about different things that I’m going to work on during my days off throughout this job, involving lots of writing, a good bit of drawing, and hopefully a sprinkle or two of voice acting/narrating.

I’m also going to try not to burn myself out, but you and I both know precisely how that’s going to work out for me, right? Right.

*LOUDER cough*

Let’s, uh…let’s get to the goal stuff before I incriminate myself any further, shall we?

Goal Set #1: Creative Fulfilment

Well the simple thing to do right off the bat is to get art out of the way because there is precisely bugger-all to report. In fact, when I was getting all my gear together to pack for going back out to work, I put my drawing tablet in my suitcase and didn’t take it out again. And I’m going to say that chances are good that I won’t take it out again until I am actively in the process of traveling, and looking for something to while away the many hours of flight and layovers.

So yeah, artistically I’ve got nothing for ya.

Writing, on the other hand…

Well, it’s a mixed bag, to be honest. On the one hand, I’ve been having some wicked writer’s block on my two most important current projects. The Other World: Book Three is going well, in a manner of speaking, but I’m currently at a slow-moving point and those are the bits I find the most difficult to write. If there’s nothing major or emotionally-devastating going on, I find the words very slow to come to me. You Can Stay At My Place has been a bit better, but I’m also at a bit of a slow point, with my mind constantly wandering forward to some of the big important scenes that I want to get to. Plus there hasn’t been any smut lately and I’m starting to get the shakes. (Just kidding. Kinda.)

On the other hand, I also have this new Our Flag Means Death fic in the works, and that one is flowing really well, but it’s also not a priority at the moment since no one is actively waiting on it. Isn’t that always the way things go? I’ve been giving myself a little leeway with this issue, because obviously writing anything is better than writing nothing, but I also desperately need to get ahead on the other two projects, so I’m kinda pulling my writing brain in two different directions. Bad habits. Basically impossible to avoid.

The positive side of this is, of course, that I hit my Pacemaker.press goal last week. Pacemaker wanted me to write 8533 words, and I skipped a little ways past that with a week’s total of 8930 words. I’m cautiously hopeful to do better this week, but I’m not going to hold my breath or anything because, you know…preparing for a new job, and also trying to spend time with my family before I leave for that job. But you never know! I do have a roughly 16-hour travel day coming up on me, so…

Goal Set #2: Physical Focus

Okay, so…two things.

Firstly, this past week has been (and this current week will be) a total shit-show of slobbishness and excess. Between the fact that I’m leaving soon, hubby requesting food that I make that he loves, me requesting food that he makes that I love, drinking with friends, diving into the NHL playoffs, and other such things, hubby and I have been just…just gorging. Also not doing a whole lot of moving, aside from the after-school three-way basketball with the kid. That’s basically been it. And I’m not gonna lie: I feel heavy and lazy and kinda disgusting for it.


Secondly, I’m enjoying it while I can, because I have every intention of getting my shit together while I’m out at this new job. The camp I’ll be going to actually has a few decent options for dinnertime meals, and I’ll be getting my steps in for sure, and I fully intend to just drown myself in bottles of water throughout the days, so… Yeah. Wish me luck?

Basically, I’ve been trying and failing for ages, but hubby told me that he’d buy me a bunch of cute clothes if I come home having lost some of the weight I want to lose, so if that isn’t motivation I don’t know what is. 😛

Goal Set #3: Self-Promotion/Branding

Remember last week when I said that I didn’t know what I’d done, but that all my numbers had gone up?


This week nearly all of my numbers went down, and once again I really have no guesses what-so-ever. The only things that went up a tiny bit were the author Instagram, and my author YouTube account, which I haven’t posted to in months, so I’m just…I’m just bewildered.

I don’t even really know what else to say here because I just…I just don’t understand.

And no, I haven’t sold any books lately. FML, I guess.

Goal Set #4: Mental Well-Being

I’m going to start off with games this week, just for shits and giggles. I played a bit more Borderlands 2 recently, and will likely play more while I’m traveling, but the game that I wanted to really mention is Slay the Spire. It’s a card-battle game that hubby has been playing, and he kept telling me that I should give it a try because it’s really fun and addictive. And…he wasn’t wrong. I gave it a try, and once I’d failed enough experiments to understand what different cards and relics and potions and so-on all do, it started getting really fun and really addictive. I haven’t played it even a fraction of the amount hubby has, but if I were left alone with it for a few days with nothing else to do, I’m sure I’d play myself right into a bloody trance. It is highly addictive, even when you’re getting your ass kicked.

On the reading side of the table, I didn’t really do much in the past week, to be honest. There was just too much else going on, and when I had free time I mostly spent it writing. I didn’t even touch Part of Your World, but I plan to stick it in my purse for travel day, and I’ll probably murder the whole thing in one setting at that point. I did read a few very short fics, but nothing major. Amazing for me, I know. 😛

Finally we have the watching category, and woo-boy… Okay, so I mentioned that hubby and I have been watching Vox Machina, which we recently finished the first (and so-far-only-available) season of, and I enjoyed that thoroughly. We’ve also been re-watching JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, which is all kinds of fun. But we also watched two movies this past week that I have to mention. The first was Uncharted, starring Tom Holland and Mark Wahlberg, and I personally adored it. I went in without much in the way of expectation, but I thought Tom did a great job as a young Nathan Drake, and the ridiculous action was very much in line with the video games, which hubby and I both loved.

The other movie we watched is called Blades, and…you guys…omfg. Hubby found it on Tubi, and we checked it out because of the insanely dumb premise of a killer lawnmower running rampant on a golf course. We were obviously not expecting high cinema or anything. But, you guys, we were SO pleasantly surprised. The thing is, the first half-hour or so of the movie is somewhat slow and not overly eventful, but it seems somehow familiar… And then you suddenly realize…this is JAWS, with the golf course as the ocean and a possessed lawnmower as the shark. But no, that realization isn’t the best part…the BEST part is when the movie starts to go from vaguely ridiculous to OMFG THEY’RE ACTUALLY REMAKING ALL THE ICONIC JAWS SCENES WITH A KILLER LAWNMOWER. Let me tell you guys…when they started driving a van around the golf course, tossing out bales of hay with balloons tied to them, I just about PEED myself laughing.

What I’m saying is that if you enjoy a good foolish-while-being-played-seriously parody, you should probably give this one a look. XD

So that’s that for another week! I hope you guys had a more relaxed and enjoyable one that I did. 😛 Wish me luck finishing up my packing and surviving travel day! ❤

Feel free to let me know how your year is going so far! Do you have any big goals? Specific plans? Anything awesome on the horizon? Share what’s going on with you! 

“You Can Stay At My Place” – A Good Omens AU – Chapter 09 & 10

It’s fic update day, and I’m only just now realizing that I didn’t make an update for last week! So, um…whoops? You’ll forgive me, right? It just means that you’ll have an extra chapter to read if you rely on these posts, right? *ahem* Please don’t hurt me.


Chapter 09 of “You Can Stay At My Place” is now live on AO3. After our boys have been stressed out and accidentally engaging in domesticity while preparing to put their ruse into motion, Crowley’s mother has finally arrived for her visit. She has also brought with her a very grumpy kitty, and a number of questions that are embarrassing to Crowley, but amusing as sin to Aziraphale. Aziraphale also proves to be a much better actor than Crowley had anticipated, which throws him more than a little sideways as he finds himself forced to listen to Aziraphale talk about how wonderful he is…

Chapter 10 is now available in early-access for Patrons and Ko-Fi supporters. After a surprisingly decent first night enjoying dinner and conversation with Crowley’s mum, the boys are forced to face the reality of the “there was only one bed” situation. They both enjoy their own individual nervous breakdowns at the prospect, but there’s a good possibility that their bodies understand a few things that they themselves don’t quite yet…

Enjoy, my darlings! ❤

2022: The Year of Trying Desperately to Keep It Together (Week 15)

The first thing that I have for you fine folk on this particular Monday is a question. And that question is: are any of you experiencing…Spring yet? I’m genuinely curious, because where I’m at it’s as though Spring has forgotten to come. It’s going to be MAY in less than a week, and I had to turn up our heat this morning. My kid is wearing both sweaters and a jacket to school. I’m sitting here writing this post with a blanket over me and I’m still chilly! I’m losing my mind, honestly. Not to joke about serious issues, but I would have honestly thought that ‘global warming’ would be a little WARMER.

Okay, okay, there’s really no need of bitching and moaning about the weather. Don’t mind me. I’m just cranky because I’ve been chasing the tiniest shreds of sunlight for the past several days.

In more pleasant news (in a manner of speaking): no specific details, but I should be returning to work soon! I’m expecting a call sometime within the next two days to head out with a crew that I’ve worked with previously and had a good experience with. I’m very glad of it, too, because I really did expect to get more time out of that last job, and what I ended up getting barely covered the flights to and from Alberta and a few bills. This job coming up is more likely to last a good bit of time, and it should get me enough hours for both a new unemployment claim and to kick my health care plan back in again. It’s always nice to have that health plan running, especially with all three of us finally making regular dental care visits for the first time in ages.

What else has been going on…? Hmm…honestly, I can’t really think of much, even though I’m certain that there have been things happening… More and more I’ve been considering the idea that I may be suffering from decades of undiagnosed ADHD, and one of the reasons is my apparent inability to recall things that aren’t currently right at the forefront of my mind or literally staring me in the face. That’s only one of the reasons though. Stumbling onto the mental health side of TikTok has also taught me a great number of things (don’t worry; I’m smart enough to do my own research rather than just taking someone random person on the internet’s word for it). The short list of possible symptoms that I can recall at the moment are:
– trouble holding still (fidgeting, twitching, restless legs, etc.)
– executive dysfunction (struggling with the planning side of things, setting schedules, executing plans, etc.)
– forgetfulness and/or becoming easily distracted
– easily becoming disorganized and/or overwhelmed
– feeling awkward or inept in social settings
– low self-esteem

And there are a heck of a lot more. Honestly I’ve been considering trying to see if I can get some kind of formal assessment, but it’s more difficult than you might think, and I’ll need to make sure that my health plan is active before I try anything since it’s stupidly expensive. It’s definitely something I’d like to look into though, because it could actually help explain A LOT.

But enough of that for now. Let’s get these goals out of the way, shall we?

Goal Set #1: Creative Fulfilment

I may as well start off by stating that I did zero art of any kind last week, and I’m honestly note quite sure how that happened because I fully intended to. The week just kinda up and vanished beneath my feet on me, and by the time I realized that I hadn’t touched my tablet at all, it was Sunday night and I was heading to bed. Um…whoops?

On the positive side though, I’ve been catching up on comments on AO3, and some of them have reminded me of drawing ideas I’d intended to try out based on last year’s Kinktober fics. >:) So…yeah, that’ll probably be happening at some point.

Anyway, more fruitful was the writing side of things, although I do have to admit that I didn’t get anywhere near my Pacemaker.press goal for last week. It was a fairly lofty goal of 12,371 words, and I was unfortunately going through a bit of a nasty bout of writer’s block. As such I only ended out the week with 8933 words, but that’s hardly anything to scoff at.

I mostly focused on fanfiction again last week, mainly because I haven’t manage to get ahead on You Can Stay At My Place yet, but also I had a truly powerful urge to write some Our Flag Means Death fanfic, so yeah, that is now a thing. I don’t see me getting as invested in OFMD fanfic as I am with Good Omens, simply because I don’t see the characters as being nearly so versatile. That said, Stede and Ed do currently own a large portion of my heart, and with HBO Max really sleeping on the obvious choice to renew the show for a second season, I feel the need to write my own fix-it fic. It begins where the show ended, and will start out with a fair bit of angst before getting to reconciliation and fluff a’plenty. There’s also a decent chance for smut. Don’t judge me. The poor darlings need a good romp to get over their respective heartbreak and idiocy.

Anyway…yay for writing!

Goal Set #2: Physical Focus

If I were to claim that I’d been putting any kind of focus into my physical body over the past week…I would have to say that said focus went toward making me fatter.

I have no excuses, really, other than to say that the very concept of ‘willpower’ has been a forgone notion as of late. I’ve been eating like an absolute pig, and doing very little in the way of what you might call ‘exercise’, apart from an hour or so per day of basketball with the hubby and kid at the park each day. And that, while fun and enjoyable, isn’t exactly enough movement to burn off the truly disgusting amount of calories that I’ve been consuming.

Again, I have no excuses, nor do I intend to defend myself in any way. I’m just stating facts.

That said, maybe I’ll do better when I get back out to work? I mean, I’ve said that before and been proven wrong, but you never know, right? This time could totally be the time it actually happens. *cough cough*

Goal Set #3: Self-Promotion/Branding

I’m not entirely certain what I did last week, but all of my numbers went up, aside from a single follower loss on the author Instagram account. Now, that’s not to say that the gains were significant or anything, but it’s so rare that I see so many positives at once that I can’t help but feel pleasant about it.

The TikTok account was, unsurprisingly, the bit with the biggest gains, and I honestly attribute them almost entirely to the voice acting vid I did for fun. There’s this guy on TT who is all about voice acting and occasionally makes these vids with scripts for people to play around with, and I decided to try out his “villains” scripts. It was three short paragraphs, with instructions to read them in different ways (i.e. sly and sultry, or maniacal and unhinged). I had fun with them, and the reception thus far has been pretty amusing! I’m getting lots of skull emojis. XD

So I guess the moral is to have a bit of fun, and maybe people will enjoy watching you have fun? I can handle that. Especially if it involves more voice acting, because I find voice acting incredibly fun. 😀

On a more annoying note, I now have another instance on Kindle of someone getting one of my books, reading 2-3 pages, closing it, and not opening it again. I haven’t even looked to see which book it is, because I kinda don’t want to know. It’s annoying enough just knowing that someone read less than a chapter of something I wrote and then gave up on it, without knowing specifically which book it was.

Seriously though, what’s wrong with people? Sit your ass down and finish a chapter before you decide to give up on something. Christ.

Goal Set #4: Mental Well-Being

Well, first off, if you actually read the opening mini-rant of this post you’ll know that my mental health is somewhere in the “oh wow, I may actually be even more fucked up than I already thought I was” category. That said, I wouldn’t say that I haven’t been relatively cheerful.

And I’m not going to lie: I’m attributing a good chunk of my current dopamine supply can be directly attributed to the truly astounding quantity of fanfic I’ve been reading. NO JUDGEMENT, NO REGRETS, #SORRYNOTSORRY. But can you really blame me? Now not only do I have the veritable sea Good Omens fic that’s out there, I also have the up-and-coming mounds of Our Flag Means Death fic that has been growing exponentially by the day! And yeah, okay, so I’ve got ass-loads of books to read as well, but…come ON, smut is SUCH a dopamine explosion! You can’t possibly get upset with me for chasing literal oceans of happiness hormone when it’s being presented to me FOR FREE on a silver-and-totally-handheld platter. RAWR.

That said, I also recently started reading another of the Disney’s Twisted Tales books, because those are quite fun. This one is based on The Little Mermaid, which was always my favorite growing up. It’s called A Part of Your World, and thus far it’s pretty good. Not quite as intense as some of the other ones I’ve read, but captivating none-the-less.

On the games side of things, I did play a little bit of Borderlands 2 last week, but I’m a little bit embarrassed to say that I’ve also been quite ensnared by a number of mobile games. *cringe* One of them is Pokemon GO, which I’ve always played a little here and there for ages now, but another that I’ve recently gotten back into is the digital online version of the Pokemon Trading Card Game. It’s the kind of game that sinks its claws into a completionist because there are SO MANY cards to collect, and it takes a billion battles to save up enough coins to buy the complete decks. What’s nice about the game, though, is that it’s something I can play without even really paying much attention to it, so I can get matches done while writing or doing chores. The same cannot be said about Cookie Run Oven Break, which the kid recently got me playing. THIS one I’m genuinely embarrassed about because it’s one of those games that is so easy you practically have to put effort into failing, and the substance in it goes as far as collecting all the different cookie characters, but at the same time it is stupidly, stupidly addictive. I’ve only been playing it for a few days, but I’m definitely going to have to put some major restrictions on that one before I wind up wasting idiotic amounts of time on it. It’s a ‘on-the-bus-on-the-way-to-work-only’ kind of game, for sure.

In the ‘watching’ category, hubby has been showing me a series that he watched while I was out on this last job. It’s called The Legend of Vox Machina, and it’s basically Dungeons & Dragons, the cartoon. I’ll admit that I was a bit ‘meh’ on the concept when I first heard it, but it is extremely entertaining. Also, it’s extremely adult, if you were thinking about possibly watching it with your kids. One of the characters is a gnome bard whose dearest ambition is to bed the entire kingdom. That’s just for example.

That’s honestly the main thing we’ve been watching lately, when we’re not watching the last few hockey games of the regular season, and re-watching JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. That said, we did watch a few b-movies the other day that I’m not even going to mention, because honestly, if you value your dignity you’ll avoid them with your life.

(Though, if that’s your kind of thing…feel free to shoot me a message and I’ll let you know what they were. At your own risk of mental and emotional damage.)

And here we are at the end once more! If I’m being perfectly honest, this post took me a ridiculous portion of the day to actually finish, partially because the cat kept pushing my laptop out of the way so that she could sit on me, and partially because I kept getting distracted by fanfic…both reading and writing. Again I say: don’t judge me. Trust me, it won’t do you any good.

Feel free to let me know how your year is going so far! Do you have any big goals? Specific plans? Anything awesome on the horizon? Share what’s going on with you!